I became James Bond this weekend. Kinda.

Cocktails in a swish hotel followed by a speed boat ride down the River Thames.

This did happen but alongside non James Bond like activities & looking after a sick man – this being the real mission even James Bond could not complete.

NB: this adventure was a gift for my 30th from M (my mother)

The cinema experience with a champagne cocktail at the supposedly 5* hotel ‘The Court House’ which reminded me of my local Indian restaurant – neon lights and pleather seating that had turned a musky grey colour.

The hotel was very much the villain in this weekends adventure.

Anyone could of had this ‘luxury’ experience as my ticket was not checked once. The champagne cocktail was alright but it was no martini! We took to our very up right seats to watch James Bonds ‘Gold Finger’ (of course) which was projected via a DVD player. Which was no mystery when the films credits started with – FOR HOME USE ONLY.

On a positive note I LOVE Goldfinger – it’s a brilliant cult classic film. I particularly enjoyed spotting the stunt men who are clearly not doubles.

My next adventure with a man down (man flu is not somthing to be joked about) – I had to find a replacement accomplice to come with me on my speed boat ride down the Thames.

Fast forward to the next day. So eager I turned up an hour early for the speed boat ride, not very James Bond I know but I was excited. I retrieve message from my new partner in crime who had woken up late and may not make it.

First thing that goes through my mind ‘James Bond would do this alone, therefore so could I”

Luckily like every Bond Film the reinforcement turns up with seconds to spare.

It was an epic ride. We both really enjoyed it. I screamed a lot- as you get older the louder and more frequent you scream (or is that just me?)

50 minutes felt like 10 minutes and my Bond experience was over.

Until I got a text messaged with some highly important goods to be collected: tissues, Horlicks, honey & lemon. My biggest, most dangerous mission of all had not yet been completed – Look after sick man.

Call me honey hot honey and lemon connoisseur, dish washing extraordinaire, super power: putting all washed clothes away…. properly.

Who’s the real James Bond in this thrilling real life adventure?

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